I would like to talk about the self-defeating drivers, specifically the third one about trying to please others. I am the third child out of four and I was raised in a joint family. What I mean when I say "joint family", is that my dad divorced my mom when I was six, and he has been re-married four other times. So I have been raised by several step-moms with kids of her own and in these combined families, I have still always been the middle child.
Having always been the middle child, I adopted being the peace-maker and people pleaser. I am really good at doing both these things because I started doing it at a very young age. I became the hardest yardworker, competing with my siblings to pull the most weeds so I could receive recognition. I would be the one volunteering to sit in the worst spots possible in the car so that nobody would fight over who sits there. At the time I had no idea why I was doing these things other than enjoying the praise and recognition. Now that I am older, I think it had something to do with trying to fill the void of not being recognized by my own mother. She was charged for abandonment when I was young and my dad received full custody of us kids. To this day, I have very little to no contact with her.
These qualities have been working great for me now that I am married. My wife loves the things that I do to allows please her. Luckily, I married well and she does not by any means abuse the qualities that I have to serve her needs. When Eric Young mentioned in class that the fourth agreement ties in perfectly with this driver, I would completely agree. I have been trying to do my very best all these years not for myself, but for others. So that others can tell me that they approve and I am a deserving person.
No comments:
Post a Comment